Rat Attack

One of the nicest things about my new haircut is that showers are so much easier. It's a matter of minutes to get clean and dry, and messy situations are easier to handle. Like, for example, when I am covered in the exploded remnants of a rat. There was something of a babysitting mishap, to say the least. I was just reading a feminist fairy tale to the Disney nerd I babysit, when there was a peculiar noise from outside her room. It was kind of a drumming grate, like a carrot in the garbage disposal. I told the kid to stay put, snatched up her little aluminum baseball bat, and intrepidly investigated the situation like a good superhero. Long and disgusting story short, I wound up covered in a fine mist of blood particles from some unfortunate rat that wandered into the air conditioning unit and got its own personal horror movie carnival ride. The blood splattered all over the walls of the house, up to a couple feet above my head. I turned off the air conditioning and reassured the kid, but ten bucks an hour only covers childcare, not cleaning up rodent entrails. Her parents were less than pleased. Eight showers are not enough to make me feel clean again.