Move Along, Citizen. Nothing To See Here.

Dani sounds like an elephant with tuberculosis. Who is being drowned by the Goorilla. It's a delightful symphony of coughs, gurgles and honks, and the walls are paper thin. She's wringing every last ounce of drama out of being sick. But I've checked her symptoms against the government questionnaire for the Z virus, and she doesn't have the bloodshot eyes, foul stench or distinctive 'death rattle' cough. However, 'excessive self-pity' is definitely on her list of symptoms. I kind of see why she's so put out, since it's not even a schoolday, and she's spending a perfectly good weekend draped over our couch snuffling morosely. I wish there were a vegetarian alternative to chicken soup. You know, besides eating those creepy green beanbirds that Dryad used to take over Kansas last June. Apparently they're still on the loose, since there was a recall of soy products that got cross-pollinated with the beanbirds. So I don't think beanbird soup would be very comforting to Dani, and it might even finish her off in this weakened state. I'm not sure that actual chicken soup has any curative powers, but it's a definite morale boost, especially when someone else makes it for you. Why haven't scientists cured the common cold yet?